Sunday, September 17, 2017

KI5150 24 : Would You Like A Slice Of Cliche OR Knock It Off Ross Bay

Opening Remarks


Kamen!

Love always
Mikey
Please keep those emails rolling in : girlicanmakeyoufeelok@gmail.com
 ""(Everything I Do) I Do It for You" has the longest unbroken run at number one the UK Singles Chart, where it spent 16 consecutive weeks in 1991."
May God have mercy on our souls.

I will fuck you up


 It's 40 stores of xmas bullshit

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5150ers you've all got your own business ideas and you all know that they're terrible. Your products are bad, your customer service is awful. There's lots of techniques you can use fix this, you can learn about how to improve your business online or hire a fancy management consultant but surely there's an easier way? 

Of course there is, you need to start selling to dumb people. Dumbtect has been scraping facebook profiles and twitter comments for years to create a database of Americas least motivated, incurious and cosmically uninformed people. You can sell them anything. 
Anything. 
Cactus insurance : they'll buy it 
Bobblehead Dolls based on the show "King of Queens" : are you sure you can keep up with the demand? 
Teach your Cat English instructional DVDs : There's no end to this. 

Use the code 5150 and they'll start you off with the details of everyone who's posted a meme that says "Share if you agree". Dumbtect : One day maybe we will all be cleansed by fire.
 

Featured Segment - metal cliches

eesh!

tough guys

 Megadeth as environmentalists, when they were cool


 This article is great and you should read it :  http://www.invisibleoranges.com/ten-metal-cliches-we-can-do-without/

 Now we talk about it for ages.




This is fine. This is all fine.



http://www.blabbermouth.net/news/slayer-kerry-king-admits-difference-of-opinion-with-tom-araya-about-trump-photo/  "King last year told Rolling Stone that Hillary Clinton was "the safe, correct choice"

Van Haven

What's Kirk Hammet's favorite breed of dog?
A chi-wah-wah! 

No, fuck YOU

Who's ready for six more songs about me!


 
"It's about our heritage, bro"




 Good Ol' Satan

Niko :
He is known for not using a double bass pedal, with Bruce Dickinson commenting that he refused to use one on "Where Eagles Dare", considering them 'undrummerish'.[18] He claims to have only ever used a double pedal once on "Face in the Sand", from Dance of Death, preferring to use a DW 5000 Accelerator single pedal.

Book club:


What do you not want to hear? Let us know. Stop typing "two guys moaning about metal" - other podcasts are available.

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Podfiends - you know how we feel about baking, from watching the Bake Off to lying around eating delicious cakes and breads we're up on all aspects of the nations fastest growing sport. Except for actually baking, like you we have jobs and stupid hobbies to occupy our time. So where do the cakes come from at 5150 Towers? 

Well, you might not know his company, but you will know his voice - introducing Geoff Tate's Tasty Cakes. Now, a lot of cruel and valid thing have been said about Geoff on this podcast, and on other podcasts and in the press. Things like "he's the answer to the question what if Rob Halford was a tiny, shitty, German man?" or "you know what's cool? suing your former band for wrongful dismissal - that is rock and roll 101". But to show he's in no way bitter he's running another ad on our podcast. 

You won't have to "Take a Bullet" for these cakes, in fact it's likely that you'll "Say U Luv It", these are the cakes from the man who brought you the record King and Thieves (1.6 stars - AllMusic.com) 

Use the code 5150 and Geoff will include a copy of his autobiography "Still Singing colon How I Didn't Even Want To Be In Queensryche anymore and anyway those guys are dicks." 

Geoff Tate's Tasty Cakes : It would be an Operation colon Mindcrime to miss out.

--

Foodie One Foodie

The sound of men eating tiny chocolate horses. This is why you tune in.









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Saturday, September 2, 2017

Episode 23 : Return to Castle 5150 OR A Grab-bag of nonsense

Let Freedom Ring With A Shotgun Blast


Get at us: girlicanmakeyoufeelok@gmail.com


Kamen! Check out that hair


 Tate! Ooh - swing and a miss

Aero bar - instead of brushing your teeth?



Yorkie Bar - check out this clever reverse physiology ad.

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Fifty One Fifters, I only have one more question before my time is through please I beg you tell me in the name of hell who are you? It's a question older than time itself and more and more Americans are demanding an answer, so what is your ancestory? Are you a bit Polish, Romanian, Scotch? Don't you want to tell people at parties that the conflict in Yugoslavia affected you more deeply because of your genetic background? Well that's the kind of shit you'll be able to pull thanks to Gene Genius.

Our patented process, which definitely does not just take the names of few european countries and randomly assign a percentage of your ancestory to it, is very simple. There's no need for needles or disgusting spitting into a tube, we just need a bone. Pretty much any bone will do, we send you a return label, an instructional DVD and a sterilized knife and you do the rest.

Sorry, we cannot return any of your bones.

Sure it sounds terrible but let's hear a real customer testimonial :
"Huh, turns out I'm mainly Welsh, but there's a little French in there too. Gonna miss my femur though."

Gene Genius : Not using bones to build a massive bone throne since 2016

Featured Segment - a grab bag of fucking nonsense.


I think we cut all that airline food stuff. It was hilarious. You know how we cover old material in an original way.
 This cat warned Stephen against Ernest Cline

Rush : Gutterpunk anarchy in full effect - let the fray begin!

 
 
Mr Peanut is metal as fuck

 
Eat BBQ naked. Think about that.

DoH news : They were bootleggers : "Bo and Luke had previously been sentenced to probation for illegal transportation of moonshine;" - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dukes_of_Hazzard 
 


Looks like it was LoudWire : http://loudwire.com/iron-maiden-comic-book-this-summer/ good memory Paul

The game Stephen was trying to think of : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ed_Hunter

That's the Sanctuary cover, Stephen is basically an idiot.

Rock and Roll comics : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rock_%27N%27_Roll_Comics


 "Going back to work, to get more coffee"
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bl%C3%B6%C3%B6dHag
 Bannon. If he worked out.

 
"Moooooooch!" - this scene was cut from Face/Off

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 Gimme a Five One Gimme a Five Oh, what's that spell? 5150.
 5150-ers you can't do everything yourself. From the mightiest space-monarch, assigning tasks to her space-underlings, to the humble raccoon doling out jobs to the rats. Sometimes you have to delegate. But how are you, as a busy sea-captain, supposed to find someone suitable to handle the day to day of running of your vessel?

 Well, you may not have heard of his company, but you will know his voice, introducing Geoff Tate's First Mates. It's the overly specific recruiting service for century 21. Part tinder, part Grindr and 100% dedicated to hooking you up with the right sailor.

 You know how this podcast feels about Geoff and his "if war crimes were music" band Queensryche, but to prove he's the better man, not in any meaningful sense, obviously, he's picked our platform to run his ad.

These aren't some bullshit second-in-command deck officers you're getting, these are Geoff Tate's First Mates. Would the man who recorded "Some People Fly" and then allowed it to be released ever let you down?

Use the code 5150 and Geoff will come to your house and whisper the lyrics to "All the Promises" to you.

Geoff Tate's First Mates : It would be a Sign Of The Times Colon The Best Of Queensryche to miss out.

Keepin it Foodie One Foodie


 Jaffa Cakes. Step up your game America!


Ah - the legal troubles of J-cakes : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jaffa_Cakes

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Saturday, August 26, 2017

Episode 22 : Hot Takes OR Your Opinions Mean Nothing To Us

Our lying, lying Intro

We'll keep putting out podcasts! Welcome back to the podcast, it's been a long, long time.
Helles Lagers Saaayten comin'for youah!


Are you guys defending Kim Kardashian now?
Yes - that's just another way in which we are the opposite of OJ Simpson.

This is the worst thing that has ever happened to the metal community. 
Including The X Factor by Iron Maiden.


What the fuck is wrong with you?

I demand to know what Wolverine thinks of this : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Peel_Sessions_(Carcass_EP) fucking poser, sellout, liar! 



Such a boost she's given us over here!

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Beards. From dangerous creeps to unbearable hipsters seems almost everyone has their face-hair on display. So how you gonna be? A crowd following, people pleasing, fall in line mall-puppet? That's hardly the spirit of rock and roll. It's time to bald your face. And fast. "But razors are so expensive" you're probably saying "and I have to ask the guy at the store to open the little prison that he keeps them in" you probably continue. Well shut up because we got you. 

Used Rusty Razors dot com was set up by two opportunistic college kids who wanted to take advantage of new lax health regulations. It works like this, for $30 a month they'll send you a pack of used, rusty blades that have already been proven to work. You might have concerns about the hygiene aspects of shaving with an unwashed, blood and rust covered razor but we have two answer for that: "the environment" and "don't be a wuss". 

5150 listeners get a free tetanus kit which should take care of the blood borne infections and the whining, am I right? 

Used Rusty Razors dot com : still not technically illegal.

Featured Segment : Sacred cows get turned to sacred burgers

Stephen hates 80s children's adventure films. "Kidnapped children get put in vans"

Actually good slapstick
 How Hick's material aged (badly).

Which band is the best?

 
 Blue Oyster Cult



 Entombed

PUSA

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Pretty defensive stuff.
"I'ma drive my baby to the maltshop!"


Look at all the things that aren't happening!



"Write Morrisey on my arm!"
"But I don't think..."
"Don't have time for your thinking! Write Morrisey on my arm!"

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5150-heads, our research shows that most of you listen to this podcast while working out. Whether you're doing knuckle push ups or reverse crunches you know that when you're done with the gym you have to feed those muscles with protein. So you could mix up a shake like an idiot or have some grilled chicken like a moron or you could try something else.

You might not be aware of his company, but you will know his voice - Introducing Geoff Tate's Ostrich Steaks.

As ever this podcast is an almost unending tirade about the warcrimes committed by Geoff and Queensryche over the years, but to prove he's the better man, not in any meaningful sense, obviously, Geoff asked us to run this ad.

These are high-end, grass fed, fillet cut Ostrich shanks that really put the "Eat" into "Affordable Internet mEat" and if you use the code 5150 Geoff will personally throw in some ostrich feathers which he thinks are in some way valuable.

You might not Believe In Love but you will believe these flightless birds are your new one-stop protein shop.

Geoff Tate's Ostrich Steaks : It would be an Operation colon Mindcrime to miss out.

Closing time, so finish your whiskey or beer


Are they using The Frog Chorus as backing music?
Yes. Yes they are.
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Saturday, July 1, 2017

Episode 18 : Who Will Judge The Judgement Night Soundtrack OR Rock Meets Rap Meets Snark

Gentle Openings


Let us never speak of this again.

Paul goes to : http://www.highlineseattle.com/event/1458711-thou-cloud-rat-false-seattle/
Why not go up to him and say the KI5150 phrase that pays "Sad Wings of Destiny is a very under-rated album" - see what he does. The bands are mainly from the Midwest except for Great Falls.


All the cool kids are going to :  http://www.neumos.com/event/1463257-mutoid-man-seattle/
It's going to be great!

"What did you think about Kill 'em All?" - Stephen hasn't heard NPR since about 2009

Pod-fuel

Fuck's sake Gene :
http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/gene-simmons-on-prince-how-pathetic-that-he-killed-himself-20160510
http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/gene-simmons-rock-is-finally-dead-20140907
http://variety.com/2017/music/news/gene-simmons-abandons-attempt-to-trademark-devil-horns-1202476097/

Still alive :
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vinnie_Vincent
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_Singer
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lars_Ulrich



Tasteful. Nate sold one in Six Feet Under

Hang ten brah!



How. It's. Done.

What can I do : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHkojuUSDO8


Come at me Dio! Treat me like a mechanical dragon.

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5150-heads - think about your apartment, it's a mess right? Pizza boxes, empty bottles, broken glass. We feel ya. We've been there. But you have to shape up - this atmosphere is stopping you from achieving your goals. But what - are you going to clean your apartment? What is this Russia? Neyt.

Enter Air Bird and Bird - the avian cleaning service that turns your filthy home into a space so clean you could legally perform surgery in there. And that's a guarantee.

It works like this - for $50 a month we'll send you a flock of our specially bred cleaning sparrows, you break open the crate and these guys get to work. Their beaks and claws are steel-tipped to cut through even the toughest stains and grime, and if you're thinking "oh how could a tiny bird possibly lift mattress off my bed?" don't fret - they're raised *strong*.

There will be flapping and the birds *will* leave behind feathers and maybe some chromium colored eggs - in this event do not approach the eggs, call our specially trained egg disposal crew and leave immediately. If this information gives you pause, think about physically cleaning your apartment, then get in touch.

Air Bird and Bird : Beaks and wings to clean your things.

Feature Segment : Judgement Night!


Get on this one:
https://open.spotify.com/album/1qwrbuNLtDcuj2myhuESlh

Coming soon? : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_%26_Ted%27s_Bogus_Journey:_Music_from_the_Motion_Picture

The Reaper Rap? oh man! Not on Spotify we'll have to get the cassette tapes from our local K-mart.

Trespass is great https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trespass_(1992_film)


I got this image from Reverb.com. Ironic

Robert Ward was the key grip on Taxi Driver : http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0075314/

Gorguts First album is Considered Dead. Get it together guys. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gorguts

First good song: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fallin%27_(Teenage_Fanclub_and_De_La_Soul_song)

Health Risks of a Microphone : https://churchacousticsandsoundsystems.com/sound-system-discussions/health-risks-of-a-microphone/



Microphone as Disease Vector. I think we've found a title for our theme music song


We're ready to record - look at our neck!

FNM guitar player, big sick ugly : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Martin_(musician)

A good Sonic Youth song : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIIEbrMXs20
A take down of all Sonic Youth songs : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=916vp9v5mpI


You guys like drugs? We like drugs!

Masics always sounds good : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m52-IFMXI60

We'll just pretend that Therapy? were not on this soundtrack. Here's some fucking great Therapy? deepcuts :
Mama, You Can Call The Ambulance Now : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaTf19jnI6E
Long Distance :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNuntcIf6dA
Six Mile Water :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zElO6zPytgs
Remember them this way.

City of Crime : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pT_QRKfv8H4 talk about this more?
girlicanmakeyoufeelok@gmail.com

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We know where you live. We don't mean that in a threatening way. Although on the other hand, yes. That's exactly what we mean. You have a nice place. Own some cool things, Nintendo Switch, iPhone and -  is that a signed copy of South of Heaven? Nice. Fortunately we're not hanging around outside your place waiting, just waiting for our chance to strike.

But someone is. And how are you going to have peace of mind while an unseen thief is planning to claim all your cool stuff as his own.

You're hopefully thinking "I wish there was a solution to this terrible problem!" and there is : Air Bat and Bat - it's the bat-based alarm system that Time Magazine called "impractical and dangerous" - you know what else is impractical and dangerous, printing words on tinder-dry pieces of paper and inserting them into people's houses. Fuckin Time Magazine.

It works like this, for $55 a month you rent a flock of our specially bred long-eared alarm bats. Before you go out or fall asleep - arm the bats by shrieking out their 8 digit activation code and they'll start their patrol. If anyone breaks in, this triggers their super-sonic squeaking. Obviously this is above the range of human hearing, but the Air Bat and Bat high frequency detectors (sold separately) pick it up and blast out our loud alarm.

Use the code 5150 and we'll throw in a handful of security owls, because we care about you.

Air Bat and Bat : This is what crowd-funding can do.

Closing remarks - more about Bake Off 2016



"Or ey, look at that fookin bread. It'z overproooved and underwerked!"


We call him Ginger Baker. These are the jokes that only KI5150 can bring you.


The worst method of cooking.


An English possum

Blimey:  https://www.google.com/search?q=blimey&oq=blimey&aqs=chrome..69i57.1063j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8


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Thursday, June 22, 2017

Episode 17 : Megadeth vs Metallica OR Talk About Cryptic Writings

Head's up


Firstly - you can email us at girlicanmakeyoufeelok@gmail.com
and we have a facebook page : https://www.facebook.com/Keepin-it-5150-Podcast-497901750541576/
 join us.

 Read each album write up here and thank us later : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Megadeth

 Fury Road Black and Chrome: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNykS4VlnwE
 Really good. Just as good as the color one.

 

 "Say goodbye to postage meter misery"

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 We've all been there. We've done or said something that, while it was right in the moment, we now regret. Be it a simple scream or a brutal assualt - we're all carrying around some shame.

We could unburden ourselves by appologizing but this is America. This is 2017. Surely there's a better way?

Of course there is - AstroBlame is the west coast's leading resposibility reduction service. You're going to need to know the deal and that's coming up next. You send in your birth sign and what you've done - They come up with a list of plausable space-excuses that take you off the hook for good.

Best of all it's offering 5150 listeners a steep discount on this month's supply of moon-al alabis:

Yelled at an orphan - "Mercury is in retrograde this week"
Wrote a sub-par show for Netflix - "Well, I'm *such* a Sagitarius"
Punched a cop - "Mercury is in retrograde" - this one is bullet proof, you can use it more than once.

AstroBlame : "The moon made me do it" is not just for wearwolves anymore.

 Featured topic - Metallica vs Megadeth album by album


 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kill_%27Em_All
 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killing_Is_My_Business..._and_Business_Is_Good!


Holy fucking god Kill 'em All is excellent.


Killing Is My Business has more punctuation, so good work lads.

 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ride_the_Lightning
 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peace_Sells..._but_Who%27s_Buying%3F


Yes!


Meh


 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master_of_Puppets
 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/So_Far,_So_Good..._So_What!


Best opening ever


What are you doing?


 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...And_Justice_for_All_(album)
 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rust_in_Peace


Look who woke up!


That was a nice run. 

   
for serious though
http://www.theonion.com/article/humanity-still-producing-new-art-though-megadeths--50983

 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metallica_(album)
 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Countdown_to_Extinction


Return to form


Very, very good.


 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Load_(album)
 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Youthanasia


Treading delicious water


Sucking


 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reload_(Metallica_album)
 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cryptic_Writings



Cracked the formula


Lost the plot



 The Memory Remains - badly explained : http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LastNoteNightmare (we put this in last week, but here it is again. It's great)


 Megadeth en espanol
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhiAICtSZDM

 Overall scores 

 Music : Metallica 4 - 3 Megadeth
 Album covers : Metallica 4 - 3 Megadeth (using Death Magnetic as a tie breaker)

 Closer than we thought.

Here's what we think is the best : https://open.spotify.com/user/stephenadevine/playlist/7tkmi4of2FxCWHqJXP5ScO

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 Doctors. They're the only health care professionals we build TV shows around (except for nurses and maybe lifegaurds, do they count?) and what's the one thing these motherfuckers in white are always saying "Eat. More. Fruit". But seriously, you're a busy podcast listener, are you going to have time to go to the store, select out some fruits, wash and prepare them? No. That's not going to happen.

Enter fruitshoot dot com. The online citrus fullfillment service that dials it in and gets it done.

With just 8 clicks you can get all the fruits you need for that healthy, scurvy-free lifestyle, delivered to your home every week. Consider the menu options from last week:
Nectarine
Lemon
Satsuma, actually that's another Nectarine, they're pretty much the same.

Use the code FIFTY POD FIFTY and we'll include a couple of weeks where we send you chocolate eggs instead of fruit, because who even likes fruit?

fruitshoot dot com : When life gives you lemons, we'll probably send you some more lemons.


 Never Explain Never Apologize : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K46FkjXSdkA

 What you need to know about Jaffa Cakes : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZnsOZsA7_4
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KI5150 24 : Would You Like A Slice Of Cliche OR Knock It Off Ross Bay

Opening Remarks Kamen! Love always Mikey Please keep those emails rolling in : girlicanmakeyoufeelok@gmail.com  "&q...